It still strikes me, how wild and untamed the mind is. Even after all these years of practice, I can sit down to a meditation session with the sincere goal of cultivating compassion using a particular method, but not actually get around to it until ten minutes later because my random thoughts fancy themselves so important. Why should it matter, at a time like this, the way a past conversation went, what needs to be done in preparation for a future event, or even how a current situation is evolving? The truth is, it doesn't; not now! That's all we need to remember: "Not now!" But this human mind sometimes will not be harnessed; sometimes its stubbornness (or is it laziness?) is stronger than the noblest of its intentions.
Of course, I know very well that in a different situation, the mind would behave better. This was the 67th (or almost) silent, sitting meditation in a row, in my own home, by myself, with no text or recording for guidance. Change any one of those elements and I know that the mind is more compliant. But it remains a wonder to me that when we ask the mind to just rest, to stop wearing itself out with useless garble, it refuses.
Until we give up wearing ourselves out, too, and consciously let go.
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